“Tell her to wear a loose nighty instead of these tight clothes…” quips my mom’s hired help as I haul my 37 week pregnant belly around the house in my husband’s tees and (fortunately, my own) a pair of tracks.

She’s one of those ‘good-intentioned’ and ‘otherwise nice’ women I so feel uneasy being around. Can’t hate them, can’t ignore them!

Out of politeness and respect for her ‘good intentions’ I zip up my mouth, lock myself in the bathroom for a warm shower and manage to stay there till she leaves – no questions asked, no doors banged. Thank pregnancy for such small mercies!

That was the infiniteth time I’d heard this ‘nighty’ advocacy. For the uninitiated, this is the Indian women’s wardrobe staple ‘nighty’:

Image credits:Shopadda.in

Of course when worn by the likes of us regular middle class women, complete with a messy braid or a coiled bun, it doesn’t look even half as flattering, if this picture was really anything to go by.

The appeal of the nighty is more like this:

Image credits: http://www.radford.edu

Where age isn’t a bar… 

And this:

Image credits:Elpis kai Aceso 

Where all you have to do for a little more mobility is to hike up the hemline and tie it around your waist, all lungi style. Talk about equality!

This quintessential Indian women’s casual clothing that has successfully held the Indian society’s stamp of approval for a decade or two in almost all social strata, is so empowering that many women (the post menopausal ones almost always) actually dispense with the undies!

After all, everything is covered up, and with this nighty, which to be frank, is essentially a slightly tailored sack, you could let your bubbly girls (or lack of them) free as freedom can be. They don’t ask, we don’t tell!

It’s definitely more comfortable than the other patriarchially approved women’s dress – saree – far easier to pull over your head than employ monumental effort and skill at distorting the traditional saree so as not to bare even a sliver of the fastidiously forbidden female skin and form, especially a pregnant belly.

Hence, people are flummoxed as to why I should shun the unofficial Indian national female dress and opt for tees, tracks, shorts and all those ‘tight’ dresses.

I’ve been sold the nighty idea by almost everyone, in vain.

My mom tried to subtly initiate me into the nighty brigade before I was to get married so that I could find comfort even within the narrow ambit of propriety for an Indian married woman. She tried to buy me all kinds of nighties, even custom tailored ones but somehow I never caught up.

My mother in law went a step ahead and actually bought me bright, colourful and cheerfully printed nighties all the way from the cotton capital of Erode, though sadly, they all ended up a good couple of inches shorter. “But they told me it was standard size…” she would ruefully say every time I tried them on. I felt sorry for her. Apparently, women’s dimensions as set by Indian nighty-makers have a clear vertical limit not a horizontal one.

Aunts, grandmas, colleagues, housewives, working women, kamwali bais, why even some men have taken it upon themselves to wax eloquent on the many virtues of the humble nighty to me, albeit to deaf ears. It takes a certain stubborn rebellion to resist it, because make no mistake, that kind of sermonizing could easily put Amway and Herbalife salespersons to shame!

I hate wearing the nighty. Period!

First off, by swathing me in shapeless expanses of fabric, it kills off in an instant whatever little positive body image I may have acquired over the years.

Most of my childhood was spent wearing oversized and unflattering fits. Yes, the horrible nineties!

I’ve also always been chubby, or more. It was one less worry for my parents if I didn’t outgrow an outfit for a year or two at least. I soon had this idea firmly drilled into my head that being on the heavier side automatically meant wearing bedsheets and curtains and looking as unobtrusive as possible, and that conditioning took a lot of time and exposure to shake off.

Which brings me to my second point – I prefer to avoid clothes that don’t separate my thunder thighs with a soft fabric barrier especially when I am likely to be running around, doing chores, climbing stairs etc. I also sleep like a pig waddling in mud, which means, I could be least bothered with a skirt or a nighty hiking up while I toss, turn and throw my leg over whoever is unfortunate to sleep next to me – my poor husband that is! I take adequate precautions to avoid skin chafing  when I am wearing skirts, frocks and sarees. Why would I not humanly want to dispense with such elaborate shenagians in the comfort of my home?

Thirdly, although our women can be seen sporting the nighty almost everywhere, even at public parks and markets, there is yet to be a social consensus on whether a ‘nighty’ is appropriate as casual wear. Some scoff at the idea of letting even the doodhwala see them in a nighty. Some would wear it to Mars, on occasion, perhaps with a dupatta draped over the chest. Some set themselves nighty lakshman rekhas ranging from the apartment campus, or the doorstep to the local grocer’s, varying with the presence or absence of the above mentioned dupatta.

Me, well, it’s a night-y in the end, not a day-ie. And I am too lazy to change into appropriate clothing every time I leave the house. 
That way tees and tracks are ubiquitous though they aren’t considered ‘feminine’ unlike the nighty. I have been teased around by my husband’s side of the family with the moniker ‘douser paandi’ (a slang of trouser) because what a sight it is to watch a fat woman roll around wearing a patloon at home!

The irony is, if one wanted to look all womanly and by extension, attractive, more Indian women would have picked a nighty like this instead:

Image credits:Indiatimes

Since that isn’t the case, the issue isn’t looks. It’s about a super dress that falls into all these realms at once- inexpensive, utilitarian, robust, feminine, casual, covers-it-all, hides-your-figure, easy to wear, comfortable and most importantly, is socially approved.

Throughout my pregnancy, this nighty marketing has got even more obnoxious. People try to convince me to buy a set of front-open nighties because I am only going to be home as a milking cow anyway.

The perception hurts too. I’ve worn nighties and every time I look in the mirror, I only see a docile, “homely” woman who can’t step outside the house, and can’t take longer strides than her nighty would permit. Add to that a newborn, and I look even more drab and gharelu.

The track wearing woman at least appears physically active (if only… :-P), capable of running errands, climbing on to stuff, driving, going to random places (a gym maybe, eh?).

I might be wrong – heck, the Rani of Jhansi wore a saree to a godforsaken battle, and that too, on horseback – so there definitely are women who find the nighty the epitome of comfort and mobility.

However, comfort is a subjective feeling. And most nightivists are those who haven’t worn only shorts and tank tops to bed on a hot summer night. Or sheer soft lingerie. Or nothing at all!

Moreover, pregnancy time nightivism has more to do with camouflage than comfort.

I do agree that a waistband of a trouser or a skirt over a burgeoning belly may cause rash and irritation but I doubt if it is truly what the nightivists intend. That’s because when it comes to formal clothing, these same people constantly persuade me to wear sarees so that I feel ‘comfortable’ with the belly than ‘tight’ clothes like t-shirts, palazzo pants, leggings, kurtis etc. Tight, really?

The truth is – flaunting a pregnant belly, ironically enough for our great Indian obsession with marriage and kids, is worse taboo than flaunting a paunch, and sarees and nighties, apparently ‘hide’ both. 

Women can be seen everywhere draping a dupatta or pallu over the baby bump, as if one layer of clothing over that itchy big belly wasn’t enough.

It’s all about hiding your body, not merely covering it. A tee, no matter how oversized, can’t hide your womanly pelvis and ample buttocks, even if it does manage to cover the baby bump. Also there is no question of a dupatta or pallu assisting you in your belly camouflage.

All kinds of womanly curves, except the sheepish one pasted on your face while you’re being lectured on virtuous dressing, are taboo.

I continue to resist the nighty brigade with oversized tees, empire waist tops, why, even maternity nightsuits. The choice of dress and my comfort in wearing it outside or inside home is MY decision to make, certainly not anyone else’s, including those who have been pregnant themselves. So patloon it is!

As for the nighty brigade… 

“Ye who knowst not the kiss of a lover nor chased the will o wisp… “