Work in Osho’s World View
Those of us who lived as commune members both in Poona and on the Ranch knew that our “worship” took a central place in the “process” which the Buddhafield was, in the most subtle of ways working its magic. One also remembers the mantra in Poona one from prestigious group leaders, “Ah so, you are now ready, etc, for the final group – go and ask for work.”.
One became gradually aware, at least in the context of the vocabulary of the time that work was actually “play” So it was with great surprise to many of us that when the Ranch collapsed one of the most common complaints from the new dispensation (the Californian set of Hasya, John, Jayesh, etc) was that commune members were being made to work around the clock, etc, a directive if there was such, that they all had skillfully avoided! A child who “plays” all day is not in a concentration camp, but a place of endless delight.
One of the reasons that the Poona twos and threes and fours “miss” is that much work is delegated to Indian companies who pay their “workers” relatively poorly and obviously are not part of the fabric of the commune. Doing all sorts of work, in particular work that one had never done before, and the readiness to get up in the morning and find oneself tackling an area of play one had never before been acquainted with was a great blessing – not only for the commune, but for life wherever it might be lived beyond the commune. The self-confidence and joy that came from that was without price.
When Osho spoke in Hindi, Indian friends of Sannyas News say that the oratory was so much more powerful that in English, and the cadence and tenor of Osho’s delivery was unequalled. Further that the content was often very practical and convergent. Many of Osho’s Hindi books have not been published as yet. But a small drip feed of translations continue. Below is a translation of one of Osho’s early discourses in Hindi on “work”.
from Osho: The Inner Journey, Ch 3 (Excerpt, translated from Hindi)
In the time of Confucius – about three thousand years ago – Confucius once went to visit a village. In a garden he saw an old gardener and his son pulling water out of a well. For the old man the work of drawing water out of a well was very difficult even with the help of his son. And the old man was very old.
Confucius wondered if this old man did not know that bulls and horses were now being used to draw water out of the well. He was drawing it himself. He was using such old methods!
So Confucius went to the old man and said, “My friend! Don’t you know that there has been a new invention? People are drawing water out of wells with the help of horses and bulls. Why are you doing it yourself?”
The old man said, “Speak softly, speak softly! For me, it does not matter what you say but I am afraid my young son may hear you.”
Confucius asked, “What do you mean?”
The old man replied, “I know about these inventions, but all inventions like this take man away from labor. I do not want my son to become disconnected because the day he becomes disconnected from labor, he will be disconnected from life itself.”
Life and labor are synonymous. Life and labor have the same meaning. But slowly, slowly we have started calling those people who do not have to do physical exertion, fortunate, and those who have to do physical exertion, unfortunate. And in a way it has become so, because in a way many people have dropped doing labor so some people have to do too much labor. Too much labor kills one. Too little labor also kills one. Hence I said, “Right labor. Proper distribution of physical labor.” Each person should do some physical labor. The more intensely, the more blissfully, the more gratefully a man enters the labor part of his life, the more he will find that his life energy has started moving down from the brain closer to the navel. For labor neither the brain nor the heart is needed. The energy for labor is derived directly from the navel. This is its source.
Along with the right diet a little physical labor is very essential. And it is not that it should be in the interest of others – that if you serve the poor, it benefits the poor; if you go to a village and do farming, it benefits the farmers; if you are doing some labor, you are doing a great social service. These are all false things. It is for your own sake, not for anyone else’s sake. It is not concerned with benefiting anybody else. Someone else may benefit by it, but primarily it is for your own good.
When Churchill retired, one of my friends went to see him at his house. In his old age, Churchill was digging and planting some plants in his garden. My friend asked him some questions about politics. Churchill said, “Drop it! Now it is over. Now if you want to ask me something, you can ask me about two things. You can ask me about the Bible, because I read it at home, and you can ask me about gardening because I do it here in the garden. Now I have no concern about politics. That race is over. Now I am doing labor and prayer.”
When my friend returned he said to me, “I do not understand what kind of man Churchill is. I thought he would give me some answers. But he said he was doing labor and prayer.”
I told him, “Saying labor and prayer is a repetition. Labor and prayer mean the same, they are synonymous. And the day that labor becomes prayer and prayer becomes labor is the day that right labor is attained.”
A little labour is very essential but we have not paid any attention to it. Not even the traditional sannyasins of India paid any attention to labour – they refrained from doing it. There was no question of their doing it. They simply moved in another direction. Rich people stopped laboring because they had money and they could pay for it and sannyasins stopped because they had nothing to do with the world. They neither had to create anything, nor did they have to earn money, so what did they need labour for? The result was that two respected classes of society moved away from labor. So those in whose hands labor remained, slowly, slowly became disrespected.
For a seeker labour has great significance and usefulness – not because you will produce something from it but because the more you are involved in some kind of labour, the more your consciousness will start becoming centered. It will start coming downwards from the brain. It is not necessary that the labour has to be productive. It can be non-productive also; it can be a simple exercise. But some labour is very essential for the agility of the body, complete alertness of the mind, and total awakening of the being.
Smell of chicken in any home will speak stronger than the liabrary full with books about vegetarianism.
If the past was that refined, fine and far out, why the present is rotten?
Meditation creates such ripple effect,even the people unaware about meditation feels it fragrance..yes..i am sure, in the coming four five years, every long term worker of Sodexo working at Osho Resort will resign with the reason, ” I am enlightened”!
It was just another photo on the white board. Another form with the
numbered exposition of requisite determination. Some sort of
blameless bid for gentrification, as it was briefed. A picture of
bongos with berets and tar stained lips migrating across spit stained
reeds in brass and copper. They would have never planted that Field
of Reeds themselves. It was all too much grunt work. Each and every
blank crying out for an answer that was only destined for redaction,
and yet the assignments would still be listed in numbers and letters
first. As always, the passage of force exerted seemed to be the issue
at hand. “Right there at your fingertips”, they said.
So it was, with the taste of this score on the tongue. They could
score a corner office in the high rise with a bubbling spoon and a
fast jab to pastry pies in the sky. But on the ground, the chips fell
on another line. They were counted after each throw, each inquiry.
There wasn’t any time for that kind of baby face bullshit. Each
report came spilling through the backs of pages in wet ink. It might
have been a matter of opinion, but even the telegraph notes bore it
out: too many colleagues called into question, too many insects still
on the route. “That’s why you get this license”, they said.
At least they paid the phone bill. They damn well better, when the
job stack builds more than a little black book filled with restless
dakinis. It was not just an adventure, not just another sleepless
night. Those fine specimens were tired of just looking. They had
spun so many jingling turns around the altar, it was time for action.
They wanted to taste the blood and sweat and let that erupting juice
fill every yearning crevice. Claws splitting flesh in a wild lust for
expansion. The demand was shared around and passed like a joint,
wicked contact highs before the inevitable and directly full-on
inebriation. “Left to your own devices”, they said.
Kaalaagnishayogijanvallalilaavishasiddharaaj, I am now glad I was asked to leave my mind by the front door.
Vartan
Yes, some have said that the mind is a terrible thing to taste
What kind of person will chose “Kdkkskakakwllalalalalllalashsj” as name?
Is this the part of some world record event organised by Guinness Book!
A person with a sense of humor, perhaps?
Crazy shit, huh!
Once I found that Gurdjieff was one of Osho’s mentors, I knew that an amount of pointless workship was going to be involved, so I adjusted my mentality accordingly. Being in my 30s, and with Crowley already under my belt, helped a lot. When I was first starting out, two paths were presented to me, Crowley’s and Gurdjieff’s and dear Aleister’s looked like much more fun and partying. I somehow had secret knowledge that Osho was going to destroy everything before he left. You just need to know how ‘these people’ think.
I never felt that sannyasins were overworked, that just was what the critics were bandying about … the hoi-polloi being overworked and Him driving around in Rollers … what a load of nonsense! Osho was the easiest of masters. You could do as little or as much as you wanted, you just needed to carry your intelligence with you.
I personally found the sannyasin work ethic exemplary.
I really liked how Osho was a Gurdjieff apologist. I am also a big fan of the “Tiger of Turkestan”.
Didn’t Osho talk about Gurdjieff’s denouncement of kundalini at some point? The G-man wrote about the “kundabuffer” in his book Beezlebub’s Tales… He also claimed kundalini was the force of sleep itself, that it took the place of a real function, replacing it with fantasy – and said people who attempted to “raise the kundalini” were psychopaths.
Osho said G was trying to counteract the misappropriation of the concept by the theosophists… but that does not seem to be the whole story, if you look closely.
I put in probably about three years of workship in the Poona Ashram. I actually made it to the ultimate…group room toilet and shower cleaner. It was fun at times…nothing quite like watching somebody doing primal therapy taking off a king-sized nappy and splatering a freshly cleaned toilet bowl with diahorrea…good for enshitenment.
There was something about my unsurrendered Scottish attitude that prompted those two notorious zen mistresses, Diksha and Susheela, to get heavily on my case. I ran the gamut off absurd Gurdieffian surrender techniques…from cleaning a staircase with a toothbrush to boiling filthy cleaning rags in the middle of the night to working 18 hour shifts as a handyman. The latter caused me to saw through a piece of plank at 20 feet above street level, unfortunately I was sitting on the end I cut off and I did a double spin before landing on my back…uninjured. Miracles happen, as the bumper sticker says.
In order to become an individual therapist I had to put in a few months working all night in a laundry. I was the only sanyassin. The rest of the crew were a pretty boring bunch of pan-chewing Indian dullards.
Yes, it was fun and yes sometimes I hated it and told those zen mistresses what they could do with their toothbrushes. I occasionally rebeled and went to Goa. GOAway in Oshospeak. He didn’t like us wandering off and wasting ‘energy’ in Goa. So he came up with a bit of doublespeak that boiled down to, ‘if you go to Goa it means I’ve sent you there’. I felt guilty at times, around a man who claimed that guilt was the most useless of human emotions. Yet guilt was definitely a tool for manipulation in the commune.
Looking back on it all it has a past life quality. Those were good times but it wasn’t always easy to be there. I find that I function better if I have some good hard work to get into each day. 18 hour shifts? There’s a name for that…slave labour. Somehow we all felt it was bringing us all closer together…one big happy family, with big Osho showering us with his infinite blessings.
One things for sure, I’m not in the least bit interested in anyone telling me what to do today. I reckon Osho’s zen mistresses number was one of the biggest bits of bullshit the old boy ever pulled off. I know that Diksha made a public apology for any harm done by her. That was after she left the ranch in disgust. I wonder if it ever comes to her in the middle of the night when she’s curled up tight, that horrible feeling that you’ve done something really dumb—like sending hundreds of young women to have almost irreversible sterilizations. ( Sounds more like the Nazis idea of fun, rather than that of a life affirmative spiritual commune.) Crazy days…I wouldn’t have missed them for the world…very educational…learned a hell of a lot. Therefore, one could conclude, workship worked for me.
Really slave labor, or were you greedy for enlightenment? Guess most seekers – seek for adventure meditation like adventure gastronomy or techno party. I never could understand how people interpret Osho. Even in the first times I have met Sannyasins, quite extreme with the so called worship, if they like it I thought. I had paid for this RHT Program in Oregon. After one day of dish cleaning I went upstairs fetched my 3000 Dollar, and dropped it. I don’t know, perhaps people put greed above their nature and being afraid of going for themselves, in the end they feel betrayed.
Preetam, you have to understand, such ideas as greedy for enlightenment etc are spawned by your limited mind set. You seem to miss the point that for most of us workship was fun..not always but mostly. No big deal.
You say, ‘I don’t know, perhaps people put greed above their nature and being afraid of going for themselves, in the end they feel betrayed.’
I suggest you stick with the ‘I don’t know’ and drop the rest in the garbage can, where it belongs.
Yes, I don’t understand. Why than slave labour, if it was fun?
There are things called jokes going around. If they are good the make you laugh. Not so good, smile. Then that other kind that leave people puzzled. Catch my drift? Okay, I’ll spell it out for you…JOKING:….well kind of.
Lokesh says:
… I reckon Osho’s zen mistresses number was one of the biggest bits of bullshit the old boy ever pulled off.
We were lucky, Hubbard was using 12 year old girls as zen mistresses on his Sea Org …
Osho´s promise in His own voice.. Not in 1977 or 1988..but just few months before His departure from the earth.
Zen_The Quantum leap discourse 3.(50th till 52 minutes)
(download this free from oshoworld website)
“Maneesha, you are right. You can leave me, but I will follow like a shadow.
Wherever you go I will haunt your heart.
I will come in your dreams.
I will meet you in different places
.
Wherever five sannyasins are meditating together, the sixth… I will be present. It is a promise.”
Let us ask ourself, when was the last time, five sannyasins have meditated together??
Happy Birthday Osho, Osho in exile( the place built by Him is too proud to celebrate the birthday of the master, who said till the end, ” Don´t mention me in the past)
Shantam says, ‘Let us ask ourself, when was the last time, five sannyasins have meditated together??’
And I think why on earth would I ask myself such an utterly stupid question.
I have never joined any communes or groups, as I already knew the game beforehand, for better or worse. Also, life itself is a big enough “workship” already. Well, for some of us it is. Yes! IT’S TRUE.
At least you cats seem a bit less bitter than Bubba Free John aka Adi Da’s group, and marginally less flighty than the TM old folks. I haven’t bothered to find Muktananda’s other fallouts and his posse. Oddly enough the most well adjusted guru victims I’ve seen are Castaneda’s extended sorcerer’s party.. or at least the surviving members are. I wouldn’t put Trungpa Rinpoche in the same group, but plenty of others have before. There is an interesting clip in that documentary “The Life and Times of Chogyam Trungpa”; during his cremation there appears a bunch of freaky rainbow colored lights in the sky. It’s on the video, and is quite bizarre. Even the people standing there at the time were saying “I’m not convinced its real”. Hehe. Good on them.
There are so many people out there just dying to tell you what to do with your life. Wont you listen? Wont you join in the reindeer games? Don’t you want to feel the LUV? You know you want to. All the seriously spiritual people are doing it. Just try it… you’ll like it… I promise…
film of old Bombay Centre.
http://www.grapheine.com/classiktv/index.php?module=see&lang=fr&code=c8c5c561e4138df85f0317b6c0bbabc8
Kaala says, ‘I have never joined any communes or groups, as I already knew the game beforehand.’
Methinks, what a smug twat.
Hahaha… takes one to know one, dont it.
Cheers!
What? You mean you have to be gay to recognize a homosexual? You need to be a shit to recognize one? You have to be a twat to recognize a smug one? I don’t agree.
The head cannot think in pictures.
The heart cannot understand words.
Both are needed-but the heart should be in power and the head should be in service, because love is the ultimate law,no law can be above it.
Osho-Sermons in Stone….
I feel this is the “work as worship “Osho sannyasins have got from the master. To create a world how so ever small in acres or miles, where power paradigm has shifted from head to heart…
How many steps we are taking in this direction is a question worth contemplating.
If we the disciples don´t prove, Osho is substance and not just words, then who else?
Shantam, I can smell glue fumes rising from your above comments. No wonder you have sticky fingers. You will leave yourself with permanent brain damage if you keep sniffing that stuff. Look at Kaalaagnishayogijanvallalilaavishasiddharaaj, you don’t want to end up like him do you?
i think in every street, there is some rowdy child; quite smart, coming from well to do family who always thinks he can play better than the others. Most of the children avoid such extra smart child, but surely this snob, always find a little gang around him who follow his command and in return get small favours for their support, as this snob boy has always more pocket money then others, more gadgets etc.
In my street as a child, i had always fight with such bossy boys. One of them had a special way of getting involved. He will take his knicker down and will say, ” Involve me in the game otherwise i piss on the ground.”
And yes..it does not end with the childhood. Till the last breath, we can go on finding such smart brats. Age really does not matter.
Is sannyasnews or sannyas or the game of enlightenment is free from such i piss on the ground, smart asses, as my childhood colleague was?
May be this is what makes life, a competetive sport!
Shantam, have you tried therapy? It might help with these childhood traumas you are still living with.
shantam prem says:
i think in every street, there is some rowdy child; quite smart, coming from well to do family who always thinks he can play better than the others. Most of the children avoid such extra smart child, but surely this snob, always find a little gang around him who follow his command and in return get small favours for their support, as this snob boy has always more pocket money then others, more gadgets etc.
You are describing Swami Osho (Brian) Rajneesh.
“along with right diet a little physical labour is essential”
to whom was this talk addressed ?
the bombay weightwatchers?
it might have been radical in the 70s.
but,osho sitting on his bum telling fat, high caste indians and scrounging sadhu wasters to get off their fat/skinny asses a bit more,seems a tad passe,right now….
who was it who said.
“when you`ve got the message,hang up the phone”.?
re churchill`s final years.
actually,he didnt do much gardening.he had a staff for that.
he had an art studio in the grounds where he painted and got slowly pissed on brandy and soda all day.
empty glasses and sodastream are still there.
Vartan, please add few more names!
(with respect for all, malice for none)
the playground banter doesnt stop even when youre enlightened.
look at osho krishnamurti and all the rest of them.
just like their disciples
bitching away till their last breath trying to be the smartest ass in the playground..
its because we`re apes…
whether like the baboons you need to show you`ve got the best and biggest ass
or like us,the best and biggest soul….
ass/soul/ass/soul/ass/soul…
whats the difference?
not much.
best to just enjoy it.
The dawn of wisdom!
My work here is done.
No autographs, please… Just throw money!
Kaalaa says:
My work here is done.
You call that work? Your work ethic leaves a lot to be desired swami. No gacchamis for you tonight. Go and check with the matron.
Ugh! Ugh!
frank says:
……… ass/soul/ass/soul/ass/soul…
whats the difference?
not much.
best to just enjoy it.
I am enjoying it as we speak.
work kept the sannyass community together….?
no, sexual intrigue did.
collective work never made any real savings or opportunities for the ‘shram, as there were only a few hundred workers at most at any given time.. no the money came from busting your ass( erm arse actually,) over how trampleable you were with your emotive libido via groups etc.. The funding of the ‘shram was never an open secret, and was not available for sharing. Still isn’t. The place was fixated on getting you to kow-tow. I offered myself for three weeks in the toilets in 1980. Having endured endless obediences at private school for 11 years, then that , and the subsequent periods of Oshfascism was just a boot camp for aspirational hippies , but it never looked like or was egalitarian fun , despite having villas and centres popping up everywhere saying ‘Love lives here.’
Veeresh’s working-class game was the apotheosis of abusivity via Oshfascism. Although in my limited experience of him it’s his frank integrity that defines your own willingness to experiment..Strange that.
That’s not to say people don’t benefit from being bullied for religion.No its great especially if you want to build Rolls Royce Device Empires and celebrity-book-signing-prime-minister-meeting-new-world orders.
That image of Oshoism is an open book for still wet behind the ears abusers and their kow towers.Saw it all over again in Greece, in Canada, in Australia.
Ps if its really fun still anywhere.. drop me a line.
Me.. nowadays if i could get paid for setting abattoirs alight, I might consider getting a real job.And i’m not really PETA fodder as I gave that a real go too. As it is, I have to consider twisting my nuts into knots everytime I reach for the intelligent survival guide to working on the planet without getting shagged up the ass by the limitations of ritualised interactions for money. Private schooling only allowed for the ass shagging but not the ‘without’ bit as training for the wider world.
Best job I ever had was in the democratically-run regular open meeting Ko Hsuan, where as a responsible teacher and governor I ‘shared’ that a fellow teacher could stick her criticizing opinion up her german nazi cunt.
I think it might have been a first of the new-type non-therapist approved osho type sharings which I used, to claim my portion of what sannyas really should be about. And it worked. Still does. – and that part of Osho works for me very nicely.
Now back to the ads.
Don’t you mean ‘abs’?.
beloved friends,
update from the ghandoo ashram here.
arrived in bangavillipuram a few days back…
i was just pulled here by the energy of the beyond…it was so strong.
my mind said no,but my heart went out and bought the ticket….
and its ghandoo`s birthday today 12/12/12!
wow!farrrr out!
had darshan with ghandoo this morning…
mind is gone…..
the energy is sky high.people are transcending right,left and center…..
its so incredibly juicy here.
ghandoo says on 21st the world will shift intio another frequency altogether…
hey,it`s true that the worship meditation is more powerful than the therapy groups.
watching my wife having her ass shagged off by a gorilla was just childs play compared to cleaning ghandoo`s bog with my toothbrush.
and when it comes to workin it to the bone in 12 hour shifts,shakti from the welcome centre along with kinky kali from the kitchen have opened up some chakras i never even knew existed
wow.i learned sooo much already..
you guys back there are just missing so much,stuck in your minds mindfucking and not feeling your hearts.
i feel compassion for you all not being open to what is happening here.
love…
Sounds great Frank. I fly to Bangalore Friday and am all psyched up for my first satsang with Gandhooji. As far as I understand the swami’s ashram is on the northern outskirts of Bangalore near a village or town called Gopatapura.
Friends will pick me up from the airport and take me straight there. Yes, Frank, all these fools reading SN when they could be experiencing the real deal at the master’s feet. Can’t help but feel sorry for the blighters, especially Shantam.
I have another picture of the master which I will now post on caravanserai. If you sit staring into Gandhooji’s eyes without blinking an amazing thing happens….he disappears!
Love….
Gandhooji!
What a name. Only some western over enthusastic about India will chose such a name.
The exact word commonly used in a vernacular term is Gandoo!
Gand means ass, the buttocks, therefore gandoo is a person who is homo.
In a hetrosexual world, therefore it is used in a derogetory way.
Surely by adding customery “Ji”, one can mitigate the effect. Elton John is after all, Sir Elton John.
So when Lokesh is going for his first Satsang with Gandhooji, it is not a good sign for the marital bliss.
Brave husbands always follow the lead given by their wives, otherwise they end up like me. Multiple times divorcee!
‘Multiple times divorcee!’ Shantam, could this have something to do with your childhood traumas? Still haunted by the neighbourhood bully, urinating on the ground with his pants down. Powerful image! Out demons out!
Talking about names. Osho always sounds to me like a washing powder brand. Who cares what Gandhooji means in your lexicon, Shantam. What is important is his teaching.
Lokesh says:
Talking about names. Osho always sounds to me like a washing powder brand. …
I bet you thought you were making it up. Life is stranger than fiction.
http://www.oshochem.com/productsb.php?com=6&grp=2&cls=31&op=detail&id=115
it was renamed… as Bhagwash didn’t sell too well
Lokesh, in any psychological diagnose one of the basic factor is that demons don´t come out themselves so that one can write story about them. They have to be pulled out. This is what psychologists do on their coaches.
Also, people get haunted images, if they have not resisted the perpetators of the crime. That is why, famous saying, ” Cowards die many times before their death.”
Thanks heaven, i have quite a healthy self esteem of a hero, albeit wounded hero!
In my case, mutipal divorcees are part of cultural clashes, how on a deeper level, collective Indian conditioning does not fit with the collective German/Swiss conditioning. On a personal level, i am just full of love and thankfullness for all these women, i can still call, Friends.
In a way i am an arche type case of Guniea pig of Osho experiment. And won´t say it has failed. I salute Osho and the people who put their heart and money into it.
Don’t be a hero, be a zero. This was a tee-shirt slogan in Poona One.
Shantam sees himself as a guinea pig of Osho experiment. Fascinating. Any deductions, Watson?
Well. Holmes, one could conclude that the smell of glue might have something to do with the culprit using adhesive to stick strips of animal fur on his chuddies.
My thoughts exactly, Watson. What we are dealing with here is an abomination.
Moriarty?
Precisely. The fiend is back in black. Number one with a bullet, he’s a powerpack.
Lokesh says:
… Shantam sees himself as a guinea pig of Osho experiment. Fascinating. Any deductions, Watson?
Two words Holmes, Stockholm syndrome.
By the way Lokesh, guinea pigs don’t oink, they squeak.
Great slogans on the t shirts have created a generation of hypocrates; for ex. don´t be a hero, be a zero!
the fact is if something is real, it will grow with the time, even it is a seed of posionous flowers.
The philosphy which dies with the time; must be made of plastic!
One can see, all the zeros travelleing all over Russia and Ibiza, teaching about Shunya…
Shantam sees himself as a guinea pig of Osho experiment. Fascinating….
Bitter facts are always hard to swallow. Shantam does not see himself as a guinea pig of Osho experiment. I see all those who changed their names, started wearing Orange and Mala were the guinea pigs of Osho, if we take the negative connotation away from the guinea pig experimentation.
Informal meaning is, “A person who is used as a subject for experimentation or research.”
Ah well, Shantam, once a guinea pig always a guinea pig. Oink! It really doesn’t have t be like that, though.
After giving it some thought I figure that it is time for you to visit Gandhooji, for only he can help you realize what a true gandhoo you are. It will only require a little push in the right direction from the master of masters to help you see this. It is very like looking in a mirror. That is, if you remove or overcome the negative ideas you normally have about doing this.
Gandhooji must be Lokesh’s alter ego.
Vartan…Gandhooji is beyond the beyond. He is a manifestation of that which was there before the universe and countless others were created. I will be filing a report and will deliver the truth right from the Gandhoo’s mouth.
STOP guru experiments on disciples now!
appalling mistreatment of discipanimals in india nepal US and UK in the cause of advancement of enlightenment in ashrams and laboratories must stop!
Pissed off at Enlightenment and Therapy Assholes…..?
join PETA,now…!
consider these abominations….
lokesh,strapped up like a experimental beagle and forced to smoke cigarettes in a veeresh group keaving him damaged for years.still hasnt been able to kick the satsang habit.even embraced the beedi baba as his nicotine fuelled guru….. its a tragedy!
shantam…forced to rip off his turban and holy chuddies and perform multiple sex acts with multiple swiss/german girls before multiply divorcing them as part of a sinister “osho” experiment…..his mind body so damaged by the whole business that he still can`t string a meaningful sentence together……a shameful outrage!
poshboy martyn …subjected to lengthy seductions by uneducated low class petit-bourgeois slappers and chav girls..some of them even foreign, and obviously just after his sizeable wedge…ugh…its disgraceful….the unspeakable in pursuit of the incomprehensible!
babasweatlama…forced to work 36 hour days at the ranch then cruelly dumped and put out to graze and rage like a drunken mule for the rest of his life….appalling mistreatment!
so spare a thought this xmas for all the disciples everywhere being forced to shag,dance,meditate,worship,drug themselves senseless for the benefit of some bald,grinning bloke sitting in a chair…….
support jackassnews,respite home for donkeys who have taken a bit of stick for chasing the cosmic carrot..
motto:”still here now”!!
yahoo!
eye-ore!
meditation is murder!
Hee haw. First there is a carrrot then there is no carrot then there is. It is a great tragedy.
It’s true, I’m a sucker for a guru with a bald head. Gives me something I can relate to. Still, I count myself lucky…now that we’ve found Gandhooness what are we going to do with it?
Great…! Thanks Frank and Lokesh for introducing Gandhooness! Hope you will not to be shocked me to goes Gandhoo. Once gave up resistance and decided to travel, this Gandhoo is all over. My question too, what we going to do with?
Gandhooji is Lokesh´s alter ego. This alter ego has twin brother in Frank.
If they get little courage, there is a good scope for a new spiritual firm.
M/s Lokeshwar, frank Gandhooji Inc.
ghandoo tells me that he used the name `gandoo` as a device to uncover the homophobic unconscious of heavily conditioned disciples who have been traumatiseed yet strangely obsessed by the sight of the playground bully`s willy in their childhood..
his compassion knows no bounds.
he has also provoked outrage in greece with his groundbreaking new vision of:
“zorba the bugger”.
its well known that ghandoo himself swings both ways.
this is a great teaching and a valuable learning opportunity for the benefit of his disciples.
it has become clear to me that his canoodling with followers of both sexes is a clear lesson for us about choiceless choice.
choosing which way to go is simply the mind at work.
as ghandoo says in his book,
“from sex to superconsciousness and then back for some more sex”
page 69:
“the mind is like a pair of chuddies.
useful for going out and about,
but when its time to get down to the real action
you have to drop them!”
also the copious quantities of wacky backy,fags,pills, spirits,powders,icecream and whipped cream that he selflessly manages to cram in between tantric sessions are an act of supreme compassion as he anchors himself to this planet and lingers a little longer on this shore so we can be in his presence…..
you ask:
now that we have found ghandoo what are we going to do with it ?
ah,the perennial question and koan comes round again…..
i put it to ghandoo-ji himself.
he paused, took a long drag on a rubber-hose-pipe type thing and replied with full consciousness and total awareness:
“ghandoo-be-do-be-do…”
his previous name was Goosey Ghose.
Frank, very funny indeed. Gandhoo’s awareness is definitely good for you.
PS I am writing from an internet cafe in Bangalore. In a few hours I will have my first audience with his Gandhooness.
The whole thing sounds like a Monty Python’s Life Of Osho … or a remake of The Young Ones using old people.
lokesh.
catch the express bus….
ghandoo has announced that unless all his disciples and lovers come immediately to the ashram he will leave his body by taking a massive overdose of special K ,benzos and ayahuasca.
the special K has worn off and ghandoo has come back into his body.
but he`s just demolished 16 chapattis and six bowls of dal makhani and now he`s about to give energy darshan to some tamil actresses…
and i`ve got the job of videoing it..
this is intense….
ghandoo-ji is the ultimate tantrickster guru…….
get here or die tryin`….
Oh dear, I will hail a rickshaw wallah immediately. I hope I am not too late. Somehow this all sounds a bit familiar. In fact I feel a wee bit like I am having a de jah voodoo right now. The mystery deepens. Rickshaw!
This all reminds me of the ranch….
If a soldier leaves the war in the middle, for such soldier war never ends. It haunts. Looks like Lokesh and Frank are such examples, left the sannyas game in the middle, now recreate their Pune in Gandhooji´s Banglore.
Cities can change, sound of Bajaj Rickshaw is the same, West or South of India..
Very deep. So deep, in fact, it sounds like old Shantam is in danger of going down for the third time. Surrender to Gandhoo now and you will be saved!
surrender, surrender, but don’t give yourself away….
“The Big Govinda Gandhoo multiplies”.
Call of true Human nature sponsored by Brahman. It starts now, open for all, free gift of existence it “self”. Happening, realizing him self by celebration as root of human nature. Freedom rises from Silence through Love into this world. Svaha, the fire sacrifice is done the oblation is / will brought.
Yes, Preetam, hear, hear,….I mean here, here.
Why spiritualy awakened guys sound like Nerds?
update from ghandooshram….
ghandoo`s turning up the heat…
his crazy wisdom is mirroring our own insanity and he seems,out of compassion for us,to be getting comepletely rat-arsed to the nth degree allday everyday…
he`s now inhaling the exhaust fumes from his bentley three times a day,and downing pills like smarties from his faithful english doctor swami gordon ginpalace… he has also dumped hos old girlfriend who is now selling smack in bangalore busstation and recruited shakti(remember her?) from rival guru brian rajneesh`s stable to beat his ass with a hairbrush while he gives private talks to his doctor and his psychiatrist…they are known as the “mental sessions”.
“false memories of a madman” and “buddha in a mental chair”will be released soon.
but to be honest,there are cracks appearing.
some of ghandoos disciples have already firebombed a dosa hut in bangalore and there is talk of poisoned idlis in madras…
ghandoo may be forced to jump the night train to nagpur as the feds are rumoured to be closing in
he is talking of setting up a system for when he leaves us installing a gang of irish travellers in charge… o`casey or o`malley or something, and some wierd fat bloke called singh,i think.
sounds like a recipe for disaster to me,but i must watch my mind and not indulge in negativity.
meanwhile,i have been detailed to guard ghandoos house and make sure to repel any attacks from any black magic women who seem to be out to get him..
we live in interesting times……..
Wow, man, I met Gandoo’s X at the bus station. She invited me for a chai at a nearby stall. Who could say no to a babe that looks like playpet of the year in a sari? So we sat down for a chai. I can remember feeling a bit dizzy as we chatted. I wrote it down to vertigo from staring into her deep eyes, but it had nothing to do with that and everything to do with drinking drugged chai. The bitch spiked me.
I woke up a few hours later. It was quite a shock. I was naked. My wallet, containing cash and half a dozen credit cards, had went the same way as my clothes. I had a terrible headache.
I found myself in the middle of a municipal garbage dump. I found some rags and started to make my way back to my hotel in central Bangalore. It took me eight hours to get there. Thank providence that I’d left travellers checks and passport stashed in a plastic bag in the WC.
I’m starting to have doubts about this whole Gandhooji thing. On the other hand I suspect that this might all be a device created by the master to speed up my awakening. I need to rest a bit now. Will keep you updated as the situation worsens.
you mean you woke up in Glasgow!!!
home sweet home
It’s time we all started getting in the mood, as I know the editors are planning a special Xmas issue of SN complete with a Snowsho talent singalong; a discussion on Oregon’s wintry wonderlands: An investigation into Jingling Balls and Was Osho really Santa . Is Sanny-Happiness unwrapping the Xmas Present. And finallly .. If you are alone this Xmas will it be a Silent Night ?
…and please write in with your opinions as the editors are looking for some re-heated postings that are real turkeys, and whether some bloggers should ideally get stuffed for Xmas.
Remember to order your copy now at all good and happy and inwardly lit newsagents.
and Happy Knowall Noel to you all….
In the meantime you can merrily sing or croon along to this
The video cannot be shown at the moment. Please try again later.
The owners of SuncreamNews…..Have agreed at a shareholders meeting to re-name their organ the Gandhoo Gazetteer.
Owing to a number of requests from major shareholders their will be a book signing , lovey-dove-in at the Gandhoo Plaza on Wednesday followed by an energy event conducted by visiting members of the extended Gandhoo Royal Family of Legover und Windsor.
The event, known in the west as the Love of Baths, will undoubtedly be a watershed in spiritual history and will include doing something very amazing which no-one can tell you about, not even the receptionist who takes your booking( and of a slightly pathological lavender hue when pushed to explain things , so watch out).
However because it’s a secret then it is even more amazing than if you knew what it was actually about, because; your expectations are what you are actually paying for, not the event. Furthermore The Path of Shafts assistants will, however, take good care of all your needs making sure you have many undiscovered ones during the intro evening, which you are more than able to fulfil by paying into a non denominational Virgin Island Bank account, at the entry table, where you will receive a complementary and free rubber wristband.
Some shareholders have asked if there could be an interactive platform for a Gandhoo Gazetter video blog, however in the unlikely event of a prank caller no-one here would be able to answer anything honestly at any time.
Thank you in advance for your understanding
The Team and Staff , SunShine News…oops we mean all here at Top Guru and Gandbhoy Magazine.
Thanks for the comic relief, Martyn. Still haven’t made it over to Gandhoo’s ashram, due to a terrible headache from Shakti’s Mickey Finn.
I’ve also made a horrifying discovery. While in the shower, washing away the filth collected after lying unconscious on an Indian rubbish dump, I looked in the mirror and discovered lipstick on my testicles. Gandhoo only knows what evil acts that foul hussy performed on me whilst I was out for the count. The plot thickens.
lokesh,
have you searched
“western religious seeker,naked,garbage dump,testicles”
on youtube?
you`ll be amazed.
its viral.
and thats just the video
that shakti sure knows how to turn a trick and make a few bob!!
she`s following her masters teachings….
ghandoo has always said
“all publicity is good publicity”
Lokesh, it appears the ‘ hussy ‘ was definitely underhand with you, and that whatever she drained you of , whatever filthy load you dumped on her. Whatever bishop of yours she took to outwit you in her own cosy chess game , her lips have become sealed by your thickened, sticky tail erm, tale.
Questioning the arrival of the monsoon rain is also a normal response of many seekers in one place, as in ; what a shower !
Just rub hard with some shower gel, and you’ll feel better about the dirty count.