The Most Jaw Dropping, Nostalgic, and Outrageous Ads from Vintage House Beautiful Magazines
From jaw-droppingly rude to sweetly nostalgic and straight-up absurd.
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House Beautiful dates all the way back to the late 1800s, and one of the most exciting parts of working at a historic brand is having access to primary documents in the form of vintage magazines. As a former media studies student, I thought it'd be interesting to dig into the archives and (maybe over) analyze old advertisements to see where on the spectrum of shockingly problematic to harmlessly nostalgic they'd fall. As expected, I encountered vacuums peddled alongside cigarettes and the occasional bathroom scale—it turns out the Mad Men in the room had no problem performing mental gymnastics to weave oppressive beauty standards into campaigns for otherwise benign household items—and luckily didn't experience any ghosts leaping out of the dusty pages begging to be set free from the confines of ugly linoleum kitchens and oddly sexualized situations (looking at you, early 2000s).
Needless to say, this time-traveling exercise was a fascinating and entertaining one, as well a good reminder to stay savvy and consume with a responsible eye (especially in the day of targeted Instagram ads that know your most vulnerable vices and out-of-budget wishlists). So I figured I'd spread the fun! Amidst all the outrageous examples worth framing as satirical statements and even sweet attempts to keep up with the changing tides of technology, I selected the top ads from each decade to spotlight ahead for everyone reading to get a glimpse into a bygone time. Keep reading to see the most wow-worthy ads from every decade starting with the 50s (sadly, I physically wasn't able to lift the box that stored any pre-1940s issues). You'll drop your jaw, you'll probably roll your eyes, you'll definitely laugh at least once, and you might even remember some of these from your own glory days.
Best of the 1950s
No wonder we're all still scared to go down to the basement and no wonder nobody likes the word moist!
Best of the 1950s
As if all it takes to secure a sense of belonging in this town is the right set of spoons.
Best of the 1950s
It's giving cover of A Little Life by Hanya Yanagihara. And frankly, life without any AC is just as miserable.
Best of the 1950s
Don't let what happen? Am I missing something? Zoom in on the fine print and submit any and all theories to me.
Best of the 1950s
Is the idea here that picking a husband is difficult? Because if they're saying it's easy, I have some words for whoever's in charge at Johnston.
Best of the 1960s
Not going to lie, this does in fact make me want to go sit in a speakeasy and order a J&B. Well done.
Best of the 1960s
For when mom plays the harpsichord, dad plays the banjo, little Jack plays the snare drum, and big sis plays the organ...just when you thought Friday family fun night couldn't get worse.
Best of the 1960s
This gives me a newfound appreciation for my smartphone, the disappearance of the pale lip and heavy eye makeup trends, and the ability to make a phone call in a skirt without being labeled scandalous and easy (at least to my knowledge).
Best of the 1960s
We love anyone bold enough to wear an evening dress to an empty field at dawn with an ax in tow ready to wack a carpet that no longer suits them.
Best of the 1960s
I will admit that having an in-unit dishwasher in a New York City apartment is indeed a major turn on—but if my partner ever takes the position of the man in the swivel seat, I will swiftly stick his head right into the InSinkErator.
Best of the 1970s
Aww...this one is really sweet.
Best of the 1970s
These dishwasher ads just keep getting better and better. Sadly for this one, it stopped being manufactured after the '70s (though you can still shop the brand's disposal and dishwasher connector online).
Best of the 1970s
Who shops for tombstones and dishwashers in the same breath? (Besides me, of course).
Best of the 1970s
Not sure what story they're trying to craft here, but I will admit that I'm curious. Did he just get served or is that a love note? Fingers crossed it's good news.
Best of the 1980s
"The candelabra was a wedding present from Susan and Bob, and every time they come over, we break it out. It's a tradition, just like the Baileys," says, I'm guessing, the woman in the purple. I can't believe they just admitted that they hide the ugly gift and have to frantically locate it and light it up when Susan and Bob come over.
Best of the 1980s
His facial expression is just so evocative, and I can also relate to my dry nose being peeved every winter morning.
Best of the 1980s
Every lady's boudoir needs hand-cut diamonds and a little muppet voodoo doll for a side of revenge during her skincare routine.
Best of the 1980s
This is my problematic favorite for its very 1980s faux feminism exploitation approach that is so bad you just have to laugh.
Best of the1980s
I wonder what kids today would say about this.
Best of the 1990s
Is the Christmas prayer that this diabolical doll doesn't kill me in my sleep?
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