This document provides an overview and summary of a presentation titled "Healthy Youth Sexuality: A Critical Examination of For the Strength of the Youth" given at the Sunstone Symposium in 2012.
The presentation examines the LDS publication "For the Strength of Youth" through three lenses: 1) a social constructionist view of sexuality, 2) circles of sexuality, and 3) religious sexual value systems. It then provides a more in-depth analysis of sections from FSOY on dress and appearance, dating and relationships, and sexual purity. Alternative perspectives are presented and discussions of potential issues with the current FSOY approaches are explored. The presentation aims to foster a thoughtful discussion on developing healthy approaches to youth
Critical Look at LDS Sex Ed: Circles, Frameworks, FTY
1. Healthy Youth Sexuality:
A Critical Examination of For the Strength of Youth
Presented at the Sunstone Symposium 2012
Prepared by:
Jeremy Irvin, Kimberly McKay, & Joshua Williams
2. (Wo)Men are that they might have joy.
Our bodies are meant for joy, not shame.
Healthy Youth Sexuality: A Critical Examination of For the Strength of the Youth
3. SEXUAL FRAMEWORK
Social Constructionist View of Sexuality
Circles of Sexuality
Religious Sexual Value Systems
FOR THE STRENGTH OF YOUTH
Dress & Appearance
Dating & Relationships
Sexual Purity
Q &A
Healthy Youth Sexuality: A Critical Examination of For the Strength of the Youth
4. Social Constructionist View
• Foucault argued that society creates
sex and sexuality by defining what is
acceptable and what is not
• St. Augustine helped socially construct
all non-procreative sex as sinful
• Culture dictates what gender
definition, gender roles, and gender
expression is appropriate
Healthy Youth Sexuality: A Critical Examination of For the Strength of the Youth
5. Social Constructionist View
Stayton & Pillai-Friedman (2009, p. 229)
“ The social construction theory postulates
that all aspects of sexuality, including fantasies,
behaviors, taboos, and responses, are socially
constructed... Sexual scripts serve to embody
society’s construction of sexuality, and they
operate on three levels: the cultural, the
interpersonal, and the intrapsychic.”
Healthy Youth Sexuality: A Critical Examination of For the Strength of the Youth
6. SEXUAL FRAMEWORK
Circles of Sexuality
Healthy Youth Sexuality: A Critical Examination of For the Strength of the Youth
7. Circles of Sexuality
Dr. Dennis Dailey Sensuality
Skin Hunger
Aural/ Visual Stimuli
Sexual Response Cycle
Body Image
Fantasy
Sexualization Intimacy
Flirting Caring
Media Messages/Images Sharing
Seduction Loving/Liking
Withholding Sex Risk Taking
Sexual Harassment Vulnerability
Incest
Rape
VALUES Self Disclosure
Trust
Sexual Health
Sexual Identity
& Reproduction Biological Gender
Sexual Behavior Gender Identity
Anatomy & Physiology Gender Role
Sexual/Reproductive System Sexual Orientation
Contraception/Abortion
STIs
Healthy Youth Sexuality: A Critical Examination of For the Strength of the Youth
8. Sensuality
Skin Hunger
Aural/ Visual Stimuli
Sexual Response Cycle
Body Image
Fantasy
Healthy Youth Sexuality: A Critical Examination of For the Strength of the Youth
9. Intimacy
Caring
Sharing
Loving/Liking
Risk Taking
Vulnerability
Self Disclosure
Trust
Healthy Youth Sexuality: A Critical Examination of For the Strength of the Youth
10. Sexual Identity
Biological Gender
Gender Identity
Gender Role
Sexual Orientation
Healthy Youth Sexuality: A Critical Examination of For the Strength of the Youth
11. Sexual Health
& Reproduction
Sexual Behavior
Anatomy & Physiology
Sexual / Reproductive System
Contraception / Abortion
Sexually Transmitted
Infections
Healthy Youth Sexuality: A Critical Examination of For the Strength of the Youth
12. Often Fear-Based Sex Education
Healthy Youth Sexuality: A Critical Examination of For the Strength of the Youth
13. Sexualization
Flirting
Media Messages & Images
Seduction
Withholding Sex
Sexual Harassment
Incest
Rape
Healthy Youth Sexuality: A Critical Examination of For the Strength of the Youth
14. RELIGIOUS FRAMEWORK
Religious Sexual Value Systems
Healthy Youth Sexuality: A Critical Examination of For the Strength of the Youth
15. Religious Sexual Value “A” System
Dr. William Stayton
Act Centered
• The Sexual Acts determine what is moral or immoral
• Authority – External: scriptures, parents, religious
authority
• Moral Responsibility – proclaimed by outside person
• Purpose of values – to maintain tradition
• Reward – divine favor, heaven
Healthy Youth Sexuality: A Critical Examination of For the Strength of the Youth
16. Religious Sexual Value “B” System
Dr. William Stayton
Relationship Centered
• The Intent and Consequences of the sexual acts
determine whether it is moral or immoral
• Authority – External & Internal: importance on scientific
information, research, and decision-making skills
• Moral Responsibility – all are involved
• Purpose of Values – promote growth, better people,
and a better society
• Reward – a meaningful life in the here and now
Healthy Youth Sexuality: A Critical Examination of For the Strength of the Youth
17. Religious Sexual Value “C” System
Dr. William Stayton
Combination
• Takes from both “A” and “B” depending on the issue
and comfort level with the sexual act
• The value system held by most of the people
• Confusing because there is no consistent theological or
scriptural base
Healthy Youth Sexuality: A Critical Examination of For the Strength of the Youth
18. LDS FOCUS
For The Strength of Youth
I. Dress & Appearance
II. Dating & Relationships
III. Sexual Purity
Healthy Youth Sexuality: A Critical Examination of For the Strength of the Youth
19. Choices
Trust Our Youth to Learn From Their Choices
We are following the admonition of the Prophet Joseph Smith:
“I teach them correct principles and they govern themselves.”
We should not, according the scriptures, need to be
commanded in all things.
Boyd K. Packer, April 1990
• Teach the importance of:
gaining Knowledge
practicing Compassion for self & others
understanding Consequences
• Trust our youth to make Choices and Learn
from their life experiences
Healthy Youth Sexuality: A Critical Examination of For the Strength of the Youth
20. DRESS & APPEARANCE
developed by Joshua Williams
Healthy Youth Sexuality: A Critical Examination of For the Strength of the Youth
21. Current Version (2012)
Your body is sacred. Respect it and do not defile it in any way. Through your dress and appearance, you can show that you know how
precious your body is.You can show that you are a disciple of Jesus Christ and that you love Him.
Prophets of God have continually counseled His children to dress modestly. When you are well groomed and modestly dressed, you
invite the companionship of the Spirit and you can be a good influence on others.Your dress and grooming influence the way you and
others act.
Never lower your standards of dress. Do not use a special occasion as an excuse to be immodest. When you dress immodestly, you send
a message that is contrary to your identity as a son or daughter of God.You also send the message that you are using your body to get
attention and approval.
Immodest clothing is any clothing that is tight, sheer, or revealing in any other manner.Young women should avoid short shorts and short
skirts, shirts that do not cover the stomach, and clothing that does not cover the shoulders or is low-cut in the front or the back.Young
men should also maintain modesty in their appearance.Young men and young women should be neat and clean and avoid being extreme
or inappropriately casual in clothing, hairstyle, and behavior. They should choose appropriately modest apparel when participating in
sports. The fashions of the world will change, but the Lord’s standards will not change.
Do not disfigure yourself with tattoos or body piercings.Young women, if you desire to have your ears pierced, wear only one pair of
earrings.
Show respect for the Lord and yourself by dressing appropriately for Church meetings and activities. This is especially important when
attending sacrament services.Young men should dress with dignity when officiating in the ordinance of the sacrament.
If you are not sure what is appropriate to wear, study the words of the prophets, pray for guidance, and ask your parents or leaders for
help.Your dress and appearance now will help you prepare for the time when you will go to the temple to make sacred covenants with
God. Ask yourself, “Would I feel comfortable with my appearance if I were in the Lord’s presence?”
Healthy Youth Sexuality: A Critical Examination of For the Strength of the Youth
23. TRUE MODESTY: self respect
and respect for others through
dress and appearance
Healthy Youth Sexuality: A Critical Examination of For the Strength of the Youth
24. Body Awareness & Respect
Our bodies are a UNIQUE GIFT from our Heavenly Parents.
• Nude Body: natural and unashamed
• Self-Acceptance: know our abilities & limitations
• Accept Others: recognize other’s abilities &
limitations
• Sexuality is one component to whole self
• Personal Responsibility: not just a girl’s onus
Healthy Youth Sexuality: A Critical Examination of For the Strength of the Youth
25. Balance & Health
BODY, MIND & SOUL connected and alert.
• Eat healthy, balanced meals
• Be active, exercise regularly
• Nurture mind: arts, literature,
conversations, relationships & more
Healthy Youth Sexuality: A Critical Examination of For the Strength of the Youth
26. Clothing the Body
Not inherently MORAL or IMMORAL.
• Clothing & Accessories are
commodities
• Constantly changing
• Decoration
• Protects us from the elements
• Define & force gender roles
• Clothing can signify power
Healthy Youth Sexuality: A Critical Examination of For the Strength of the Youth
27. Consumerism
Preying on women and youth.
Healthy Youth Sexuality: A Critical Examination of For the Strength of the Youth
28. Self Expression
An OUTWARD EXPRESSION of our inner self.
• Emphasize or de-emphasize to
Hide or Provoke
• Fit and Comfort are foundations
for expression
• What we wear creates expectations
often before we speak
• Signifies our social or financial status
• Allows us to Fit In or Stand Out
Healthy Youth Sexuality: A Critical Examination of For the Strength of the Youth
29. Group Expression
An outward expression of our TRIBE.
• Trends connect us socially &
continually morph
• Fashion a style accepted by the
masses
• Taste is being appropriate to the
occasion
• Rules can be good, without hard
moral connection
• Influenced by geography, culture,
society & religion
• Respecting diversity
Healthy Youth Sexuality: A Critical Examination of For the Strength of the Youth
30. Dressing Sexy
Clothing CLOAKS THE BODY in mystery.
• The nude body is only sexual in context
• Clothing often provides the context for
sexuality
• Clothing can Attract and Seduce
• Dressing & Undressing can be sexual
• “Society” sexualizes body parts
• Hiding body parts [“modesty”] can
sexualize them
• Effects of the nudity/clothing dialectic
Healthy Youth Sexuality: A Critical Examination of For the Strength of the Youth
31. Experimentation
Clothing is a safe way to EXPLORE & EXPRESS.
• Teenagers adopt & drop trends
quickly
• Clothing allows for group
acceptance
• A clothing faux pas is not a sin,
and rarely serious!
Healthy Youth Sexuality: A Critical Examination of For the Strength of the Youth
32. Leadership & Support
TRUE MODESTY is key to open communication.
• Be supportive, not combative
• Be positive resource and reinforcer
• Stress “good fit” and “good taste”
• Encourage balance and health
• One size does not fit all
• Respect & Empathize
...it’s all about TRUE MODESTY!
Healthy Youth Sexuality: A Critical Examination of For the Strength of the Youth
34. Current Version (2012): Dating
A date is a planned activity that allows a young man and a young woman to get to know each other
better. In cultures where dating is acceptable, it can help you learn and practice social skills, develop
friendships, have wholesome fun, and eventually find an eternal companion.
You should not date until you are at least 16 years old. When you begin dating, go with one or
more additional couples. Avoid going on frequent dates with the same person. Developing serious
relationships too early in life can limit the number of other people you meet and can perhaps lead
to immorality. Invite your parents to become acquainted with those you date.
Choose to date only those who have high moral standards and in whose company you can maintain
your standards. Remember that a young man and a young woman on a date are responsible to
protect each other’s honor and virtue.
Plan dating activities that are safe, positive, and inexpensive and that will help you get to know each
other. Go only to places where you can maintain your standards and remain close to the Spirit.
Young men generally take the initiative in asking for and planning dates. Always be kind and
respectful when you ask for a date or when you accept or decline one. While on a date, be
courteous as you listen to others and express your own feelings.
As you enter your adult years, make dating and marriage a high priority. Seek a companion who is
worthy to go to the temple to be sealed to you for time and all eternity. Marrying in the temple and
creating an eternal family are essential in God’s plan of happiness.
Healthy Youth Sexuality: A Critical Examination of For the Strength of the Youth
36. Learning how to build and maintain Healthy
Relationships is an important task of
adolescence and young adulthood.
Healthy Youth Sexuality: A Critical Examination of For the Strength of the Youth
37. Building Healthy Relationships
Building healthy relationships in adolescence is the foundation to a healthy adulthood.
• And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted,
forgiving one another... (Ephesians 4:32)
• Empathy: the ability to understand and share the
feelings of another
• Learn to Give your opinion and Express your feelings
• Listen to and Respect others’ opinions and emotional
expressions
Healthy Youth Sexuality: A Critical Examination of For the Strength of the Youth
38. Friendships
Practicing the skills of healthy relationships through friendships.
Youth should spend time with
people who:
are supportive and kind
they feel good being with
encourage learning and
developing strengths
they have fun with
Healthy Youth Sexuality: A Critical Examination of For the Strength of the Youth
39. Dating Relationships
Practicing the skills of healthy relationships through dating.
Dating
Practice Social Skills
Learn kindness & respect
Have fun
Appreciate differences & similarities
Prepare for future
Special Considerations:
• LGBT youth should be encouraged to date
• Youth of all intellectual and physical abilities
should be encouraged to explore friendship
and companionship to their comfort level
Healthy Youth Sexuality: A Critical Examination of For the Strength of the Youth
40. Problem with “Abstinence” as the Only Goal
Collins & Carmody, 2011
Edward Jacob to Other
to Bella Bella
Physical Violence 16, 20% 8, 10% 56, 70%
Secondary Violence 26, 19% 0 110, 80%
Sexual Violence 3, 60% 2, 40% 0
Jealousy 17, 54.8% 12, 41.4% 2, 3.8%
Stalking 11, 78.6% 1, 7.1% 2, 14.3%
Male Aggression 81, 44.3% 43, 23.5% 59, 32.2%
Controlling Behavior: 90, 75.6% 5, 4% 29, 24.4%
Physical 24, 80% 4, 13.3% 2, 6.7%
Verbal 31, 100% 0 0
Emotional 38, 65.5% 3, 5.2% 0
Healthy Youth Sexuality: A Critical Examination of For the Strength of the Youth
41. LGBT Youth & Family Acceptance
Caitlin Ryan, Family Acceptance Project, 2009
“When gay and transgender youth were accepted by their
families, they were much more likely to believe they would have a
good life and would be a happy, productive adult.”
100
Believe they 75 92%
can be a
Happy Adult 50 77%
and have a
Good Life 59%
25
35%
0
Extremely Accepting Very Accepting A Little Accepting Not at All Accepting
Family Acceptance
Healthy Youth Sexuality: A Critical Examination of For the Strength of the Youth
42. Leadership & Support
Model Healthy Relationships
• Be positive model for healthy relationships
include modeling the resolution of contention
• Be supportive, not combative
• Encourage the expression of wants &
dislikes
• Praise them when they are vulnerable
within healthy boundaries
• Don’t judge their choices in friendships
• Encourage them to find relationships
that bring them joy and self-confidence
• Listen, Respect, & Empathize
Healthy Youth Sexuality: A Critical Examination of For the Strength of the Youth
44. Current Version (2012): Sexual Purity
Physical intimacy between husband and wife is beautiful and sacred. It is ordained of God for the creation of children and for the
expression of love between husband and wife. God has commanded that sexual intimacy be reserved for marriage.
When you are sexually pure, you prepare yourself to make and keep sacred covenants in the temple.You prepare yourself to build a
strong marriage and to bring children into the world as part of an eternal and loving family.You protect yourself from the spiritual
and emotional damage that come from sharing sexual intimacy outside of marriage.You also protect yourself from harmful diseases.
Remaining sexually pure helps you to be confident and truly happy and improves your ability to make good decisions now and in the
future.
The Lord’s standard regarding sexual purity is clear and unchanging. Do not have any sexual relations before marriage, and be
completely faithful to your spouse after marriage. Do not allow the media, your peers, or others to persuade you that sexual
intimacy before marriage is acceptable. It is not. In God’s sight, sexual sins are extremely serious. They defile the sacred power God
has given us to create life. The prophet Alma taught that sexual sins are more serious than any other sins except murder or denying
the Holy Ghost.
Never do anything that could lead to sexual transgression. Treat others with respect, not as objects used to satisfy lustful and selfish
desires. Before marriage, do not participate in passionate kissing, lie on top of another person, or touch the private, sacred parts of
another person’s body, with or without clothing. Do not do anything else that arouses sexual feelings. Do not arouse those emotions
in your own body. Pay attention to the promptings of the Spirit so that you can be clean and virtuous. The Spirit of the Lord will
withdraw from one who is in sexual transgression.
Avoid situations that invite increased temptation, such as late-night or overnight activities away from home or activities where there
is a lack of adult supervision. Do not participate in discussions or any media that arouse sexual feelings. Do not participate in any
type of pornography. The Spirit can help you know when you are at risk and give you the strength to remove yourself from the
situation. Have faith in and be obedient to the righteous counsel of your parents and leaders.
Homosexual and lesbian behavior is a serious sin. If you find yourself struggling with same-gender attraction or you are being
persuaded to participate in inappropriate behavior, seek counsel from your parents and bishop. They will help you.
Victims of sexual abuse are not guilty of sin and do not need to repent. If you have been a victim of abuse, know that you are
innocent and that God loves you. Talk to your parents or another trusted adult, and seek your bishop’s counsel immediately. They can
support you spiritually and assist you in getting the protection and help you need. The process of healing may take time. Trust in the
Savior. He will heal you and give you peace.
If you are tempted to commit any form of sexual transgression, seek help from your parents and bishop. Pray to your Father in
Heaven, who will help you resist temptation and overcome inappropriate thoughts and feelings. If you have committed sexual
transgression, talk to your bishop now and begin the process of repentance so that you can find peace and have the full
companionship of the Spirit.
Make a personal commitment to be sexually pure. By your words and actions, encourage others to do the same.
Healthy Youth Sexuality: A Critical Examination of For the Strength of the Youth
46. Sexual Purity
Re-defining Purity
• Pure Intent
• Pure Compassion for self
• Pure Empathy for others
Healthy Youth Sexuality: A Critical Examination of For the Strength of the Youth
47. Made in HIS (HER) Image
Our bodies are designed after God’s own image
• Bodies come in all shapes and
sizes. They are perfect in their
imperfections
• All physiological and anatomical
responses and impulses are
natural
• Sexual desires and responses
vary from person to person
• Not all bodies respond the same
way sexually
• Sexual experiences should not
be shameful but rather
celebrated
Healthy Youth Sexuality: A Critical Examination of For the Strength of the Youth
48. Celebrating Sexual Expression
Many of life’s greatest moments
• Many major milestones in life
EVOLVE around sexual expression
• Our Heavenly Parents want you to
be healthy
• Normal sexual responses and
desires mean the body is
HEALTHY
• Shame and guilt inhibit healthy
functioning
Healthy Youth Sexuality: A Critical Examination of For the Strength of the Youth
49. Knowledge is Power
Sex Education is important
“For members of the Church,
education is not merely a good idea
--it’s a commandment”
- Dieter F. Uchtdorf
• While desire is inherent, knowledge is not
• Everyone should have a working knowledge of how
different bodies work
• Comprehensive sex education decreases rate of
sexual activity, the amount of partners, and
pregnancy/STI rates among teens
• Information around sex should never be shameful
Healthy Youth Sexuality: A Critical Examination of For the Strength of the Youth
50. Strengthening Sexual Relationships
Sexual expressions can strengthen many types of romantic relationships
• Sexual expression does not always involve
another person
• Individually exploring your capacity for sexual
pleasure can ultimately help strengthen your future
relationships
• Healthy sexual interactions consist of:
communication, honesty, empathy, and the hearing
and expressing of needs
• Intimate interactions may help a couple decide if
they are a good match
• Sexual relations can bring a couple closer together
• Individuals must DISCUSS sex before having it
Healthy Youth Sexuality: A Critical Examination of For the Strength of the Youth
51. Clarifying Sexual Misconceptions
Healthy sexual relationships take communication about expectations
• Know what you want from a
relationship before dating
• The first time having sex should not
be spontaneous
• Couples should talk about sex
before having it
• First sexual experiences can be
awkward
• There is not one “right” way to
have sex or intercourse
• Sometimes sex is great, sometimes
it is not
• Everyone deserves to feel pleasure
Healthy Youth Sexuality: A Critical Examination of For the Strength of the Youth
52. The Truth About Pornography
• What constitutes pornography is
different for different people
• Not all pornography is the same
• Viewing pornography does not
mean you are an addict
• How can we help kids to seek out
healthy sex-positive imagery?
Healthy Youth Sexuality: A Critical Examination of For the Strength of the Youth
53. Leadership & Support
Supporting Healthy Sexuality
• Provide knowledge and share personal
values in a non-shaming way
• Don’t ever compare any sexual expression
to murder
• Emphasize that context, intent, and
consequences matter
• Stress compassion for self and empathy
the other
• Encourage the understanding of your
own body’s capacity for desire
• Reinforce that our bodies are meant to
experience joy and pleasure
• Listen, Respect, & Empathize
Healthy Youth Sexuality: A Critical Examination of For the Strength of the Youth
54. Any Questions?
Thank You
Healthy Youth Sexuality: A Critical Examination of For the Strength of the Youth
55. Addendum
A Positive Approach to
For the Strength of the Youth
Healthy Youth Sexuality: A Critical Examination of For the Strength of the Youth
56. Proposed Version: Dress & Appearance
Your body is a gift from your Heavenly Parents. Besides providing you a facility with amazing abilities to perform basic and even
advanced tasks, your body provides a unique way to express yourself. It becomes imperative then that you respect the needs and health
of your own body as well as the bodies of others.
Bodies come in all shapes and sizes. They are perfect in their imperfections. First and foremost, we should be aware of our own body's
needs, being careful to avoid comparing ourselves to others. It is important to eat three healthy, balanced meals each day and to exercise
regularly. Being healthy not only allows us to perform to our utmost ability, it helps us to feel our best and stay mentally alert.
Clothing is meant to protect our bodies from the elements, not to hide them in shame. They also celebrate our body's best attributes
as an outward expression of who we are. As such, clothing signifies to those around us, who we are, often before we even speak. This
silent expression allows us to "fit in" with and "stand out" from those around us. We should take care in what we wear, including hair
styles, make-up and jewelry, ensuring that it is appropriate and in good taste for each situation, as well as cultural and societal
expectations. While a bathing suit is perfectly acceptable at a beach or pool, it is not appropriate attire for school or church!
It’s also important to be cognizant of your own body's shape and size. Wearing clothes that fit well and are comfortable goes a long way
in making you feel good about yourself, much more than being on top of the latest trends, sporting the hippest fads or wearing the "it"
brands. These come and go. Just like the Savior taught by example, true modesty is being aware of others, showing empathy in every
unique situation, so as not to leave others out. Modesty begins with self-acceptance and humility and can be manifest through our
outward appearances.
If clothing helps to express our best selves, it's only natural that clothing can be used as a way to attract others. In fact, the sexual allure
of clothing is often more powerful than the natural nude body itself. Avoid using clothing to attract unwanted attention or to be
provocative. Attraction, even sexual attraction, is healthy and normal, but is only one part of the equation. Keeping a balance between
your inner and outer self will go a long way towards developing healthy, happy relationships. This healthy balance shows respect for self
and others and underlines the true meaning of modesty.
It's very normal as a teenager to change your clothing style or preferences often. There will be good hair days and bad style days; it's
part of finding your true self and becoming an adult. If you are not sure what is appropriate to wear in any given situation, ask your
parents or leaders for help.
Healthy Youth Sexuality: A Critical Examination of For the Strength of the Youth Presentation at Sunstone Conference 2012 by
Jeremy Irvin, Kimberly McKay, & Joshua Williams
57. Proposed Version: Dating & Relationships
One of your important jobs during your teenage years is to support your sense of self. Part of doing this is to meet and build
relationships with different people through school, friends, work, church, and family.
A date is a planned activity that allows two people to get to know each other better. It can help you learn and practice social
skills, develop friendships, have fun, and learn what qualities you eventually want in a committed partnership.
Don’t feel pressure to start dating until you feel ready. When you begin dating, go with one or more additional couples. Invite
your parents (or trusted adults) to become acquainted with those you date.
Spend time with those who you feel good being with. Plan dating activities that are safe, positive, and inexpensive and that will
help you get to know each other. If you ever feel uncomfortable or unsafe in a dating relationship, talk with a trusted adult
immediately.
Always be kind and respectful when you ask for a date or when you accept or decline one. While on a date, be courteous as you
listen to others and express your own feelings. As you enter your adult years, seek a companion who you enjoy spending time
with and who encourages your continual learning. It is also important to nurture relationships that share and celebrate common
values.
The Internet is a wonderful tool for education, social supports, and meeting new people. Just as with in-person relationships, your
online relationships should be respectful and kind. If you witness anyone being bullied online, it is very important that you tell a
trusted adult. Use the Internet wisely. Never share your personal information (your last name, address, parent’s workplace,
birthdate) online. If you choose to meet an online friend in-person, make sure your first meeting is in a public space and bring
along a trusted person.
Learning how to build and maintain healthy relationships involves empathy (the ability to understand and share the feelings of another)
and communicating your own needs and desires in a respectful manner.
Healthy Youth Sexuality: A Critical Examination of For the Strength of the Youth Presentation at Sunstone Conference 2012 by
Jeremy Irvin, Kimberly McKay, & Joshua Williams
58. Proposed Version: Sexual Purity
Your body is an uniquely inspired gift given to you by your Heavenly Parents with the capacity to experience pleasure and joy that is also unique to you.
Sexual pleasure is one way we are given to experience joy in this life. It is important to be aware of the physical and emotional desires we feel and recognize
them as both natural and powerful. Developing and nurturing healthy sexual relationships is also natural, and if approached and shared thoughtfully will
enhance your ability to feel pleasure and joy. However, be wary, as not all pleasure brings joy. Sexuality can also cause pain and suffering if misused or
experienced in excess.
Self discovery and stimulation is a natural, healthy way for you to explore your body’s natural ability to experience desire and pleasure. It can also help you
become aware of what causes displeasure. Be careful that such activities do not inhibit your day-to-day functioning. Try and avoid adult material that depicts
individuals being treated in a way that you would not want to be treated. Seek out positive depictions of loving couples that treat each other in an empathetic
way that you would one day want to be treated. Also, be careful to not become dependent on any one type of sexual depiction, as it may inform and even
inhibit future sexual experiences and relationships.
Sexual relationships can provide some of the most amazing moments of your life, emotional and physical, as well as the most difficult and frustrating. Just like
any other decision you make, sexuality involves decisions and consequences that can affect you and others, negative and positive. Negative consequences
include unwanted pregnancies, sexually transmitted infections, abusive relationships and emotional depression. Positive consequences include healthy, loving
relationships, emotional and physical support, marriages and children. Seek out positive experiences. As such, you have a right to feel safe and to decide if
and when you will engage in sexual activities alone or with another person.
Consider your intent before entering into any sexual experience and ask yourself “how do I think I will feel after this experience is over?” Be sure to discuss
this with whomever is part of your sexual experience. This is true sexual purity that is founded upon open communication, honesty and empathy for others.
Your first sexual experience with another person should never be spontaneous, but carefully considered and planned. Oftentimes, this initial conversation can
be scary, but it is an important step to establish intimacy and trust. If you feel like you are not ready to have an open conversation with your partner about
sex, then you are most likely not ready to have a sexual experience with that person. Not being ready is normal and it's always best to wait until you are
ready.
You should never feel like sexual experiences are the end goal of any relationship; sexual desire and sex itself are only one aspect of what it means to be in a
loving relationship. Move at your own pace. Do not feel like there is a timeline that you must follow in a relationship. Almost all romantic relationships
follow a natural progression, which will help you decide when the time is right for you and your partner. It is only through the progression of this natural
relationship that each experience can be truly enjoyed and celebrated, which is what our Heavenly Parents want for you. If you are embarrassed about a
specific behavior, that is your body’s way of telling you that you may not be ready. This is natural and you should not feel shame because of it. Use this as an
opportunity to seek out guidance from a trusted adult.
The way that you will discover and experience sexuality will continually change as you learn and grow. Be aware of these changes and don't be afraid to ask
questions or seek advice. Most importantly, be sure to continually communicate, open and honestly with your sexual partner to ensure that sexual pleasure
leads to joy. "...[wo]Men are, that they might have joy." (2 Nephi 2:25).
Healthy Youth Sexuality: A Critical Examination of For the Strength of the Youth Presentation at Sunstone Conference 2012 by
Jeremy Irvin, Kimberly McKay, & Joshua Williams
59. References
Advocates for Youth (2007). Life planning education, a comprehensive sex education curriculum. Washington, DC: Advocates for Youth. Retrieved from
http://www.advocatesforyouth.org/for-professionals/lesson-plans-professionals/200?task=view
Ballan, M.S. (2008). Disability and sexuality within social work education in the USA and Canada: The social model of disability as a lens for practice. Social Work
Education, 27(2), 194-202. doi; 10.1080/02615470701709675
Berne, L., & Huberman, B. (1999). European approaches to adolescent sexual behavior and responsibility. Washington D.C.: Advocates for Youth. Retrieve from
http://www.advocatesforyouth.org/publications/402?task=view
Bullough,V.L. (1988). The Sexually Unusual: An historical perspectives. Journal of Social Work & Human Sexuality, 7(1), p. 15-25.
Collins,V.E., & Carmody, D.C. (2011). Deadly love: Images of dating violence in the “Twilight Saga”. Affilia Journal of Women and Social Work, 26, 382-394.
doi: 10.1177/0886109911428425
Dailey, D.M. (1981). Sexual expression and aging. In F.J. Berghorn & D.E. Schafer (Eds.), The dynamics of aging: Original essays on the processes and experiences of
growing old (pp. 311-330). Boulder, CO: Westview Press.
Kwee, A.W., Dominguez, A.W., & Ferrell, D. (2007). Sexual addiction and Christian college men: Conceptual, assessment, and treatment challenges. Journal of Psychology
and Christianity, 26(1), 3-13.
Minnesota Department of Health (2011). Circles of Sexuality. Retrieved from http://www.health.state.mn.us/topics/sexualhealth/circlesofsexuality.pdf
Malan, M.K. & Bullough,V. (2005). Historical development of new masturbation attitudes in Mormon culture: Silence, secular conformity, counterrevolution and
emerging reform. Sexuality & Culture, 9 (4), 80-127.
Ryan, C (2009). Supportive families, healthy children: Helping families with lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender children. Family Acceptance Project. Retrieved from
http://familyproject.sfsu.edu/publications
Ryan, C., Russell, S.T., Huebner, D. Diaz, R., & Sanchez, J. (2010). Family acceptance in adolescence and the health of LGBT young adults. Journal of Child and
Adolescent Pschiatric Nursing, 23(4), 205-213. doi: 10.1111/j.1744-6171.2010.00246.x
Schroeder, E. (2009). What is sexuality education? Definitions and models. In E. Schroeder & J. Kuriansky, (Eds.). Sexuality education: Past, present and future.
Emerging techniques and technologies (Vol. 1, pp. 3-8). Westport, CT: Praeger Publishers.
Stayton, W.R. (1992). Conflicts in crisis: Effects of religious belief systems on sexual health. In R.M. Green (Ed.). Religion and sexual health: Ethical, theolgocial and
clinical perspectives (pp.203-218). Norwell, MA: Kluwer Academic Publishers.
Stayton (2007). Sexual value systems and sexual health. In M.S. Tepper & A.F. Owens (Eds.). Sexual health: Moral and cultural foundations (Vol. 3, pp. 79-96).
Westport, CT.: Praeger Publishers.
Stayton, W.R., & Pillai-Friedman, S. (2009). Oh, god: The moral and scriptural implications of sexuality education and religion. In E. Schroeder & J. Kuriansky, (Eds.).
Sexuality education: Past, present and future. Emerging techniques and technologies (Vol. 1, pp. 228-246). Westport, CT: Praeger Publishers.
Healthy Youth Sexuality: A Critical Examination of For the Strength of the Youth
60. Parental Resources
Advocates for Youth, http://www.advocatesforyouth.org
Affirmation Gay and Lesbian Mormons. http://www.affirmation.org/
Answer, Sex Etc. http://www.sexetc.org; http://answer.rutgers.edu/page/sexetc_website/
(sex education for teens written by teens)
Family Acceptance Project, Supportive Families, Healthy Children: Helping families with lesbian, gay,
bisexual, and transgender children. Latter-day Saint Version, http://familyproject.sfsu.edu/publications
Parents, Families, and Friends of Lesbians and Gays, http://community.pflag.org
Planned Parenthood, Tools for Parents, http://www.plannedparenthood.org/parents/
Sexperience, http://www.sexperienceuk.channel4.com/
Sexual Information and Education Council of the United States, http://www.siecus.org/
Talk With Your Kids, California Health Council, Inc, http://www.talkwithyourkids.org/pages/
Teaching Sexual Health, http://www.teachingsexualhealth.ca/
Teaching Tolerance, http://www.tolerance.org/
Current Issue: When Teen Dating Becomes Abusive, http://cdna.splcenter.org/sites/default/files/ tolerance/
TT41.pdf
There is No Place Like Home for Sex Education, http://www.noplacelikehome.org/
Healthy Youth Sexuality: A Critical Examination of For the Strength of the Youth Presentation at Sunstone Conference 2012 by
Jeremy Irvin, Kimberly McKay, & Joshua Williams
61. Contact Information
Jeremy Irvin, jeremyirvin.widener@gmail.com
Kimberly McKay, kimberlymckaywidener@gmail.com
Joshua Williams, fashionconsort@gmail.com
Healthy Youth Sexuality: A Critical Examination of For the Strength of the Youth